Gun

We live in a world we created.

I'm sure my anger over the hoodies is misunderstood. It's not really about a dead kid. What angers me is that it had to be a black kid in order for anyone to make a stink about it. My point is not really the fact that if it had been a white kid, nobody would be wearing a hoodie. My point is that it happened at all. And then when it does, this is what we do? Put on a sweatshirt? Why? To raise awareness? Anybody out there who didn't know about racism before March 2012? Anybody?

I guess I'm just wired differently. I know I seem insensitive, but I'm not. I'm very sad that a kid can't go out, grab a box of Skittles and go back home and watch Glee without some asshole putting a smoking hole in his chest. Nobody thinks the people wearing the hoodies are insensitive, because they're just protesting. But that's all I'm doing. I'm protesting.

I'm protesting the fact that, for years, as we crept closer to this event, as one law after another was passed which made it easier to put that gun in Zimmerman's hand, nobody did anything to stop it. Nobody even "raised awareness". Where were all your hoodies then? When we decided to return to the days of the old west, where you could pretty much shoot anyone who pissed you off.

Did nobody see this coming? Really? I did. I didn't know what the kid's name would be, but I predicted it. When the "concealed carry" laws started going into effect, I suddenly had an out-of-body experience. I felt like I had been somehow transported to another planet.

But it's not. It's still Planet Earth. The world we created.

I'm not against movements or protests. I'm against flaccid, ineffectual after-the-fact campaigns like Hoodiepalooza. We were all Tweeting and texting and X-Boxing while lawmakers were handing Zimmerman the gun. We could have done something about it. If you believe wearing a hoodie can change things, you must believe that sending a message to our elected officials can, the next time they're trying to push through some asinine law like this. If we could get a message like that to go viral-- that we can see what's coming, and we can't allow it, we won't allow it-- then we won't have to impotently react, banding together in despair and confusion, to another tragedy.

We can create the kind of world that's worth living in.

The Summer of You

I finally came to my senses. I have been excited since this year began, feeling that this was the year that stuff was going to really start happening for me. Today I realized that prediction has already come true. But there's lots more on the way.

Eventually though, the results will plateau, and there won't be much growth, or at least there wouldn't be if I hadn't realized one important thing: My selfishness cannot be greater than my selflessness.

Of course, we all know this, right?

Yesterday I bought something for $9.02. I gave the cashier two fives. She gave me back 98 cents... and a ten dollar bill. There was a nanosecond where all the possibilities raced through my mind. Then I gave her back the ten. Not in the slightest do I regret that decision. It isn't about how rich I am, especially since I'm not, it's about how I feel about myself as a person. And the selfishness I mentioned previously has led to being the kind of person who doesn't hesitate to give back money that isn't his.

Being selfish caused me to work on myself enough to realize when I'm being too selfish. I kept thinking, "This is going to be The Summer of Me." I knew this because I see the possibilities, I know I can make things happen. To prove this, I have decided to lose 30 lbs. by August 1st. There's no question in my mind I'm going to do just that. I started May 1st, and I'm already hard at work to see it come true.

Now, while still keeping some of my attention focused inward, I have to look outward. That's why it's also The Summer of You. Not only do you have the potential to make great things happen for yourself if you're selfish enough to put some focus inward, but I can't keep the momentum going if I don't start asking myself how I can serve others.

None of us should ever forget that we are a part of a society. The point of a society is that we work together to do things we can't do alone. We depend on each other for our success. There are some people who apparently don't know that. We call them Losers.

When I say I want to help you, I mean it. You, the person reading this. But hey, of course there are limits to what anyone can do. I can't personally help seven billion people. Maybe however, I can help some. That's what I'm trying to do by writing this. Maybe you'll see this and feel motivated. Or maybe not. Sometimes the fact that you made an effort has to suffice.

The Process of Proliferation

As everyone and their brother knows, Sherlock Holmes said that once you have eliminated the impossible, then what's left, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

The idea that we have to eliminate things in order to get to what's important has always been a popular notion, but few people put it into action. The reason seems obvious to me: We want more, not less. And wow, isn't the process fun? Look how much hay you have to go through to find that needle. (Why anybody is looking for a needle in a haystack is beyond me. Do farmers mend clothes while they're out gathering hay? And don't they have other needles?)

I recently read something wise. If you want to lose weight by eating right, which I do, it's better to concentrate on avoiding bad foods than trying to figure out what the good foods are. Once you have eliminated the bad foods, what's left? Answer: The stuff you should be eating.

But I'm not talking only about diet here. I rarely am just talking about one thing, because so much can be adapted to many areas of life. Two hours a day spent watching TV, when eliminated, can become two hours of time with the family, or two hours of reading a good book. But the fact is, people sit in front of their TVs because it's what they want to do.

I just realized that a lot of what I talk about concerns the fulfillment of goals and dreams. Big shock there, I have some pretty lofty dreams, and I plan to make them come true. I want an abundance of the good things life has to offer, and I will never see that happen by retaining the bad habits, the things that block success. They must all go. All of them.

A few days ago I was talking to a couple of smokers. They threw this popular excuse at me: Whenever someone quits smoking, they always gain weight, so it's better to be a smoker. This is one for the stupid belief Hall of Fame. It doesn't even matter if it's true. What the person is saying is that he is not strong enough to be different, to actually replace a bad habit with a good one.

I understand that it's not easy, it sure isn't for me, but I have an intense need to get what I want, and I know nobody is going to give it to me. People have to occasionally close their eyes and see the possibilities before them, hold the image in their minds of what they want life to be. Do that enough times, and the image becomes real enough to propel you forward. Real enough for you to decide to limit the frivolous activities, and start living. Watching "Everybody Loves Raymond" with your hand in a bag of Cheetos is not living.

Stop looking at what you're losing. Maybe the word "eliminate" is inappropriate, because while you're doing that, what you're really doing is allowing all the good things to proliferate. When the bad things are gone, something has to fill the vacuum.

Remove the things that hold you back, and what's left? The things that really matter.

Doubling Down, Owning Up

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. Actually it's "The Nile", dumbasses. But I'll blog about our colossal stupidity some other time. They say that denial is one of the five stages of grief, as if it's some kind of fleeting condition that comes and goes depending on our level of trauma.

No. It's a constant. Many people can't get through a second of their waking lives without it.

Humans are probably unique in their tendency to make a decision which will improve their quality of life, and then immediately do the opposite. I once went into my health club in early January and saw a huge number of people I'd never seen before on treadmills. I asked the hot girl at the desk where the hell all these people came from, and she said "New Year's resolutions. The last of 'em will be gone in another month, and we won't see 'em until next January."

It's uncanny how we rebel against our own minds. We've all been there. You decide to drop two waist sizes, and you really mean it this time. But the same brain that made that decision will, hours later, decide to eat a greasy cheeseburger and Twinkies. And while you're doing it, you're thinking, I know, I know, I said I'll eat right... and I will. Starting with the next meal. And you know you're lying to yourself, but you're sorta cool with it.

Now there's this new thing called the Double Down. This is the kind of "food" that inspires documentaries. It tastes like Pure Evil. The good kind. I know this because I ate one. Before it came out, I read about it. Over 500 calories and more than half a day's worth of fat grams. My brain sent those mixed signals. It said, Oh hell no, you are not gonna eat one of those! and then it said, Come on, yes you are, and you know it.

I don't like denial, but I would be in denial to say I don't have that particular condition. I wonder if it's there for some useful reason. Maybe it serves some function, to weed out the losers, to allow only the best to rise to the top, to lead truly fulfilling lives.

We are all in some kind of denial, or most of us anyway. Let me own up to it. Only then can I move forward in spite of it. I made the decision to eat that crap, knowing it was bad for me, but also knowing that eating it doesn't erase the realization of my dreams and aspirations.

Denial has altered my life dramatically, but I'm determined to not let it win in the end. It's a matter of letting your smart brain rule just a little more than your crazy brain. Then one day, when most Americans are weighing in at over 350 lbs., I'll be strutting along, healthy and happy.

And drop dead anyway.

If denial doesn't kill you, something else will.

The First Brick

I don't know why I have the ideas and thoughts that I do. I don't know why I have been inspired for so long to start this blog. I don't really know what compels me to do anything. But I try not to dwell on it. I just do what I do because that's who I am.

You have to be a little selfish. I'm sitting at this computer right now because, whatever it is that drives me, has been egging me on for months now, to lay this first brick. To just start building whatever this is going to be. But I'm not going to lie, it's for me. I want you to read it, whoever you are, but I'm just so full of myself, I'll do this even if nobody reads it. But I hope you do. I want to do some good; I want others to gain something, anything, from reading what I have to say.

See, that's how it works. You do selfless things by starting out selfish. Love yourself, do whatever you do because it feels good. Erase your doubts and follow that thing that keeps tugging at you, that thing that others think is stupid, that nobody understands. When you've started, you 'll feel a rush, knowing you're doing what's right for you. That's all that matters, doing what works for you. Even if nobody else ever cares, you've still done a noble thing. You've silenced a longing. Unfulfilled longings are the source of so much that's wrong with the world. Vlad the Impaler always wanted to be a puppeteer, but feared ridicule. Now look what we have: Armies of the undead roaming the streets. The living decreasing in number every day. "Twilight" movies. If only, Vlad, if only.

I owe the title of this post to Will Smith, star of "Citizen Kane". He tells a story of how his father made him build a wall, to show that there is nothing you can't accomplish. Will says you don't set out to build a wall, you just try to lay the first brick as best you can. Before you know it, you have a wall. He's right.

Hopefully you haven't put your dream on a shelf, or even worse, buried and forgotten it. If so, dig it up, take it off the shelf and blow the dust off it. Look inside and remember that dream of a business, or music career, or novel, or invention, or wall. Start thinking about how you're going to start.

Then start.